PictureThe power of the dummy allowed me to do this!
I got to the stage where the Boy's colic is battling with my sleep deprivation and I am desperate to put the Boy down for one minute to get on with the mundane tasks of life. I don't want to go to a party or even to the loo I just want to put the washing on or prevent Booboo from falling off a bench. The Boy (just like Booboo) wants to be held because he's brand new and that's how nature
intended before the expectations of superwomen made you feel like your house needed to be in order before your first cup of tea. It's not his fault. I understand his needs I just can't fulfil them 100% of the time.

It's his screaming that I need to curb because I can't do the tasks I need to do with normal blood pressure whilst I watch veins protrude from my baby boy's forehead.  I doesn't help that the Boy was born with fully functioning tear ducts so has been crying, run down your face, tears since day 1! So last weekend, after hosting the most shambolic BBQ, the dad went to get a dummy. We tried this with Booboo but either our reservations or her unwillingness to comply meant we soon gave up. The Boy however took quite willingly and broke his 13 hour straight feeding/screaming session and fell asleep for over an hour. I then splashed about with Booboo in the paddling pool and devoured the left over BBQ food.

I feel guilty about dummy use but I don't know why? Why do I feel like I've given up? Maybe because cave women didn't have them and therefore I'm not being natural? That's a crap argument as I push my kid in a buggy and change him using disposable nappies. Maybe it's because Booboo didn't have one and I am already feeling like standards of parenting are slipping in the Guilty House. And why do I feel like a dummy is reinforcement of slipping standards? What school of thought ever started that ridiculous notion?  

On the upside, I wrote this post on my phone sat in the sunny park, eating a sausage sandwich whilst the Boy drifted off with the aid of the dummy.

So a dummy sometimes means my boy doesn't scream for so long, I am not feeding every 45 minutes and I can play with my daughter. The dummy is therefore the best thing for the family as a whole but why do I feel a bit sad about it?

 


Comments

Helen
15/05/2013 17:50

Hi, I believe that a dummy actually aids in preventing cot death until they are 6 months old however that might be a fact worth checking! I was advised by my HV that as long as I got rid of it at 6 months old, then it wouldn't affect speech. At this point with 2 kids I reckon your allowed a little extra dummy help to feel sane!! You have to be a good mummy to two little ones and that's a harder job with no sleep!

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Sam
19/05/2013 15:06

It can't be a *fact* that a dummy aids preventing cot death, but it is possible. Please be careful when reading articles/research etc because there is never a 100% solution and people get things wrong sometimes (MMR jab causes autism?). I don't think there is anything wrong with using a dummy per se, but I think it is worth avoiding creating a dependency by overuse/prolonged use. If it makes your life easier and enables you to be a better parent then use it!

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Mum Hawk
13/02/2014 21:03

I share the unfathomable dummy guilt! I succumbed to it when my beautiful 10 week old's nap refusal got the better of me. I've spent the last 5 months feeling guilty about having a tool that helps her to sleep and gives her some comfort when she's a bit sad. Why? Must be the cave people thing.

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